A Kenyan man has left netizens in stitches after recounting how a business he thought would be profitable flopped dramatically, forcing him to shut down.
Identified as Allan Ivan on TikTok, he claimed that he once started a coffin-making business and produced over 170 units, but only managed to sell three.
Allan was responding to a conversation started by the TikTok account Unprepared to Entrepreneur, which asked Kenyans to share their worst business experiences and the toughest lessons they learned.
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“I suffered. Since 2021, the last coffin out of 178 was sold in May 2024. 😭😭😭. It was so scary keeping them,” he wrote.
“Niliteseka. Tangu 2021, jeneza la mwisho kati ya 178 liliuzwa Mei 2024. Ilikuwa ya kutisha sana kuyahifadhi.” (I suffered. Since 2021, the last coffin out of 178 was sold in May 2024. It was terrifying to keep them.)
After shutting down the business, Allan said he destroyed the remaining coffins and used them as firewood.
His confession triggered a wave of reactions, with many saying he might have been blindly optimistic, hoping deaths would somehow bring him a windfall.
“How do you make 178 coffins? You just need like 4 for display, then make coffins on order,” commented Llewellyn Ouya.
Bizna Kenya could not verify the authenticity of Allan’s claims. However, the conversation opened a window into the harsh realities many Kenyans face when venturing into business, with many closing shop after just a few months or years of operation. It also reflects the tough economic climate the business community is battling.
Other reactions from Kenyans:
Andy: “Nililima nyanya email 1 acre. In my mind nilikuwa naona profit ya 2.5M. Nyanya ziliflood, watu hawakununua. Nakwambia nikiwa na ng’ombe zangu tulikula nyanya mpaka maziwa ikikamuliwa ilikuwa inaonja nyanya.” (I farmed tomatoes on one acre. I had projected a Sh2.5 million profit. But there was an oversupply and no buyers. My cows and I ate so many tomatoes, even the milk tasted like tomatoes.)
Essy_exta: “Tukianza biz ya kuku kienyeji, we decided to try improved. We bought like 30, let me tell you ziligojeka ‘kihuruto’, tulikuwa tunakula 2 daily.” (When we started a kienyeji chicken business, we tried improved breeds. They got sick with ‘kihuruto’, and we ended up eating two chickens daily.)
user2772448307526: “I did skuma (kales) na spinach nikajaza Probox. Sema kuwa vegetarian the whole week… never try that.” (I farmed kale and spinach and filled a Probox. I was a vegetarian for a whole week. Never doing that again.)
Jane Waithera: “Mimi nilifungua bale nikapatana mosquito nets 😬😂. Hadi wa leo naziangaliaga nashindwa hizi ni mawhat?” (I opened a bale of second-hand clothes and found mosquito nets. To date, I look at them and wonder what they even are.)
Marcton: “I did cabbage business… nikazunguka nazo Nakuru hadi zikaoza. I even had to pay for the dumping site. Sikulangi cabbage from that day.” (I did cabbage business and went around Nakuru selling them until they rotted. I even paid to dump them. I haven’t eaten cabbage since then.)
Akal Cartoons: “Mimi nilianza ya kupika supu. The first day hakuna mtu alikuja. Nikaamua kupelekea my neighbors for free, pia wao wakakataa.” (I started a soup business. On the first day, no one came. I took it to my neighbors for free, and even them refused.)
Flozzie019: “Nalianza biz ya kuuza sliced melons. Nikiwa nmebeba bucket ikaanguka ikapasuka. Nliikaa chini nikakula na zenye zilipata vumbi nkaacha hapo na bucket.” (I started selling sliced melons. The bucket I was carrying fell and burst. I sat down and ate the clean ones, then left the dusty ones and the bucket there.)
Njarah: “THIS GOES TO EVERYONE, IF YOU WANT TO START A BIZ SOMEWHERE, GO LOOK FOR SOMEONE WITH THE SAME BIZ. HAVE A CHAT WITH THEM IN REGARDS TO THE FLOW OF JOBS.”
Gigi: “Mimi na my small shoe business, naona nikivaa zote 😭. Ladies, DM mnunue.” (Me and my small shoe business, I feel like I’ll end up wearing all of them. Ladies, DM to buy.)
That Girl: “Seeing this while I’m planning on shutting down my handbags business on Monday. Received both house and shop eviction notice ’cause of rent arrears 😭. Literally depressed right now.”